
Tools
for Marriage. Preparing for marriage isn't the same thing as preparing
for the wedding. Marriage preparation provides the possibility of exploring
both the inner and outer parts of a relationship and finding resources to
keep it alive. Marriage preparation is for any couple--young or old, never
married or married before, with children and without children.
"Prepare" and "Prepare MC (Marrying with Children)
are preparation tools that cover several areas of importance in marriage:
couple communication, conflict management, family and friends, finances, sexuality,
personal habits, finances and financial goals, etc. The Prepare format provides
a means for discussing strength and growth area
Personality Types. I also use an abbreviated personality
indicator based on Jungian personality types. Terms that relate to this theory
are: extraversion and introversion, intuition and sensation, thinking and
feeling.) The type indicator can offer valuable information to a couples
shared understanding of how each one perceives core marriage issues.
Training and professional experience.
I have found that my psychoanalytic training and experience as a parish minister
(Episcopal Church) are often a valuable resource for insights into individual
personal issues and the challenges that face couples over time. Some couples
have chosen to continue counseling after their wedding to follow up on issues
that they have recognized as crucial to their relationship--or pre-schedule
a check up at a date in the future to provide perspective and
insight into ongoing areas where growth is needed.
Couple Counseling:
Couples and Crisis. Marriage generates a psychological field of its
own, as does a
committed partnership. Such a special relationship is rich in the potential
for joy and sorrow.
Every couple has a unique story, made more complex today by a shift in almost
every basic category of sharing life together. For example: role relationships,
vocational priorities, childrearing, financial arrangements, and sexual expectations
have a much greater range of meaning and variability. Every couple experiences
crises--seasons for decision making--when pressure is brought to bear
from within and/or without.
Why a Counselor? Often we are launched into a life together with only
pieces of a roadmap. Of course, we cannot see the future, but we can equip
ourselves for the expected and unexpected challenges ahead. At it s
very best, couple counseling equips the couple to communicate in a style that
works for them, to find inner and outer resources for problem solving, and
to identify ways to support and soothe one another. The counselor facilitates
this process with the resources of insight and training.
Orientation. My training and expertise come from three sources: 1)
my study of John Gottman, PhD, whose on-going clinical research and theories
I find to be the most effective and satisfying, 2) my training as a Jungian
analyst, where insights into individual psychology are often a helpful resource
for supporting a couples understanding of what may be unconsciously
at work, and 3) my training and 20 years experience as an Episcopal priest,
which has given me insights into the spiritual life as an essential aspect
of the whole of life, from birth to death.

